As people of the LGBTQIA community, we have to go through the process of “coming out” to our friends and family. Coming out of the closet is never easy regardless of your age, gender or sexual orientation.
Sagar Sonker has shared his story with us in hopes to inspire people in the closet to come out, live their lives and be true to themselves.
“I came out of my closet (to my family) at the age of 30 (better late than never), when I was in a painful, one-sided relationship – I call it an attachment – with someone. I clearly remember the day when my mother suddenly asked me one day, “Tumhi tya goshti pan karta ka jya navra-baayko kartaat?” (“Do you also do those things that husbands-wives do?”) That was the moment when I took the courage of saying, “Yes!”.
The attachment ended in a year’s time (and looking back I feel so happy that it did!), but my life totally changed (for the better) thereafter. Got clearer about myself than before, only to realize how I could have done this at least a decade ago. Now, I meet much better like-minded people than before.
I posted about my homosexuality on Facebook as well, which is when, while some of my heterosexual friends, colleagues, and relatives graciously accepted me, and messaged me their appreciation, on the other hand, some of them (shockingly) Unfriended me from Facebook.
The process of Coming Out was not easy as I’m making it sound here. I had to educate my parents about Homosexuality, and it took me at least 3-4 years, before finally them making peace with the fact that there’s going to be a Jamai in the house one day, and not a Bahu. It has been a great journey, nevertheless.
My primary reason for Coming Out as Gay was to be transparent to my mother, who means World to me. Now, she is sure that I am on the right track, and happy about my life.
The other bold step I took thereafter was – I quit my full-time IT Software job after serving the industry for around 10 years, and I am presently pursuing my Life Coaching passion – helping people bring happiness back into their lives for the last 10 years now.
While doing what I love doing, I am waiting for my Rajkumar to come into my life. Every year I wish that I celebrate my 6th Jan (birthday) with him, and it’s been 35 years now, but I believe that the wait will be totally worth it, now that I’m Out and Clear.
At the same time, I urge every person reading this to take that bold step and Come Out of the Closet like many of us have. Trust me, life totally revolutionizes and upgrades. Besides, there are platforms like 50 Shades of Gay to be the strong pillars behind you.”
Pune, Maharashtra, India