September 16, 2020
Body insecurities, range from insecurity about our stomach and thighs to face, arms, fingers and many other parts of ourselves. Ever since a kid I’ve been insecure about how my body looks. People fat shamed me and made fun of me when I was in high school. It took me years to love myself, but there are times even now where I spiral down the same path of self hate.
“Insecurities are a fear that you’re not enough, that you’re not going to get what you want, whether that is a promotion at work or a date with someone,” said Ann Kearney-Cooke, a psychologist at the Cincinnati Psychotherapy Institute. “It is just an underlying feeling of overall you’re not enough.”
Body insecurity is a feeling that only has two dimensions; mild semi comfort feeling or absolute loathe for your own body. There are days when you feel super confident in how you look and there are days where nothing can cheer you up.
Here are some tips on dealing with body insecurities:
Make a habit of positive self-talk
We are our own biggest critic, it’s a given and understood. We know ourselves best, and this is why it’s fairly easy to criticise at everything we do. Therapist Kati Morton advised that you starting your day with the right confidence; contributes to a world of difference. So, past positive affirmations around your workspace, let sunlight in from the windows, listen to music that makes you happy. Such steps might look minor, a less cluttered workplace and cliche/cheesy affirmations? But these small changes do really help. The more you let yourself be surrounded by a positive environment, the less lost or stuck you feel in the middle of your struggles.
Treat your body well, it’s yours after all.
“You are what you eat” is two hundred percent a cliché for a reason. A person who stress-eats on nothing but fast food and sugar for a week, will find that they are mentally less active when compared to eating balanced, healthy food. Although sugar and junk do keep you fully awake whenever needed, you tend to become lethargic and less enthusiastic. Be more mindful of how you treat your body, because your physical health does affect how you feel mentally!
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable
Over the years, I have become more open about voicing my insecurities and vulnerabilities. In doing so, I felt like I got closer to my close circle of friends and family. The more open you are about sharing your struggles, the deeper you connect with the people in your life. You might be surprised to find that there are others in your group who deal with the same issues as you.
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable, since there are so many other people out there who would not only relate with you, but might be wishing they had a person who would get them and not judge their struggles. Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness, but strength!
Stop Weighing Yourself:
Checking the scale could provide you with a temporary happiness or comfort. You know that you are looking at something that will make you anxious: your weight. But give it a thought. It’s never a great experience is it? When you get on that scale, one of two things can happen. Either you don’t like the number and continue to feel horrible or like what you see and end up fearing losing that number in the future. However, in both cases, you’re harshly judging your self worth based purely on that number. No matter a positive or negative judgement, it’s initiating your insecurities followed by distress.
Never Let Others’ Insecurities Affect You
“Fat talk” is not your buddy. “Fat talk” is any topic of conversation which involves shaming, punishing yourself for food choices or body size. Examples of this could be “I feel so fat today” or “I shouldn’t have had those french fries today with lunch.” It’s fine to have such thoughts, but realize that they are just that — thoughts. Voicing them out loud only makes them look true. Avoid giving a voice to your own insecurities about food and body. If you hear others telling theirs, understand these statements are only reflections of their insecurities; you don’t have to kick start your insecurities too.
Stop Thinking Some Features Of Your Body Are ‘Bad’
Hit the brakes on passing judgements on your body. Do you believe having a flat stomach is “good” and sporting belly rolls is “bad”? If that’s the case, then obviously you will dislike yourself if you don’t possess a flat stomach. You’re assuming that everyone else is passing a judgment on you depending on that one bodily feature.
But if you meet a person who doesn’t have a flat belly, do you think it means they worse? People are attracted to many different kinds of bodies, depending on what they like. Unless you have some very strong weight bias; it is possible that you judge the value of a person on many other qualities like sense of humor, talent or empathy, for example. No flat stomach doesn’t make you a “bad” person. Why look at it that way?
Similarly, yes you have stretch marks. You have bouncy arms and thighs like a chicken. You have a small neck or a big nose. Your ass is huge or too small, and you know what? It does NOT MATTER. You are beautiful the way you are, and never believe otherwise from now on.