September 16, 2020
Asexuality stands for ‘no sexual attraction whatsoever’, and aromantic stands for ‘no romantic attraction whatsoever’. Aromantics can enjoy sex without any romance, and asexuals can enjoy romance without any sex involved. And many people who identify as aromantic, also identify as asexual but the vice-versa is not true.
Confused? No problem, we are here to diffuse it. Read on.
Individuals who identify as ‘aromantic’ experience little to nothing romantic feelings. Now, romantic attraction is nothing but feeling a deep, emotional attraction for a person. It is about willing to share your life with someone, staying in a long committed relationship. (Also, emotional bonds is different from emotional attraction.)
So this naturally leads us to the conclusion that aromantic people never get into relationships. Which is not true.
Aromantic partnerships might involve living under the same room, sharing resources and finances, even marriage and kids. These relationships can be monogamous or polygamous and with people of different orientations. Certain people use the term ‘queerplatonic’ or ‘quasiplatonic’ as a synonym for ‘aromantic’. These terms typically mean that when in a relationship, aromantics are a level more committed and intimate than your regular friendships. But not romantic in nature. Furthermore, alloromantic (opposite of aromantic) and allosexual (opposite of asexual) people may involve in relationships that are queerplatonic.
Aromanticism Spectrum Is A Whole Spectrum:
There are people who identify simply as aromantics. However, there are others who use different range of terms to explain their romantic attraction experiences. The most commonly used words of this vast spectrum are:
Demiromantic: Without an emotional bond, this person cannot experience any romantic attraction for someone. Only a hot body is just not enough to cut it for them.
Akioromantic: These people feel deep attraction without any desires of reciprocation. It also refers to the people who lose all the romantic attraction once it is reciprocated. Incase you’re someone who loses ‘interest’ in a person once they start giving you their full attention, there’s a high chance that you’re akioromantic.
Gray-aromantic: This is a generalised word which means that one does not often experience any sexual or romantic attraction. And when they do, it’s only under specific conditions and circumstances.
Quoiromantic: These people fail to find the thin line that differentiates platonic and romantic attraction. Wow, now this is making me question all my crushes?!
Cupioromantic: This person is an aromantic through and through, yet dreams of a perfect fairytale ending. Sigh.
Recipromantic: This person feels romantic attraction only when someone approaches them first with these feels.
Aroflux: Arofluxes or acefluxes are the ones who lose romantic or sexual attractions over a period of time.
It feels like we’ve met all of the above categories right?
Life As An Aromantic:
“I don’t really think I have a right to define being aromantic broadly, but my experience with aromanticism is that I just don’t really have a drive to pursue a relationship with another person or even imagine a future relationship. I don’t want a romantic partner, I haven’t felt romantically attracted to another person for years, and it’s not really a big deal for me”, told Kotaline to the Huffington Post.
“To me, being aromantic means freedom, as terribly cliche as that sounds. Growing up, we’re all told that we’ll one day fall in love, move in with a romantic partner, get married, have children, etc. That’s what I was told by everyone around me, so it’s what I learned to expect and I never really questioned it. But since realizing I’m aromantic, I’ve realized that’s not what I want and it never has been. It was merely what I expected of me. I am free to decide what my future looks like, rather than getting into relationships I don’t want simply because I feel obliged to”, explained Jenny.
No Romantic feels does not make one heartless:
It’s funny how people jump to impractical, illogical and irrelevant conclusions like these. Obviously, aromantic people are not robots that fail to run the ‘feelings program’. And they are not manipulative, evil people either. Lack of romantic feels is not the basis for judging someone as evil and ‘bad’ person.
Aromantics might feel absolute joy in their hobbies or interests. They may also be genuinely happy and excited about other’s romantic relationships too. Or they could be Cersi Lannister (Game Of Thrones – do I really have to mention this?). The point is simple – aromantics are different and it does not require a certain behaviour and lifestyle to be one.
Next Read: Sorry, But Same-Sex Parenting Is Not A Sin