We asked the ever growing family of Fifty Shades Of Gay about their coming out stories, and we got a ton of responses!
Although every story is unique and special in it’s own way, we noticed a few similarities in all the journeys. A few concerns, that were faced by majority of people belonging to the community, while they were trying to accept themselves and come out to their loved ones. Read on to find out what were those commomnalities were.
Lack Of Awareness
“Honestly, it’s a huge ass story..but basically I had been confused for a long time because I had no idea there’s anything other than being straight, then I discovered something called bisexuality and bam! I found home. 😂”
One of the biggest issues, not just for the poeple of the community, but for each and every individual is lack of awareness. Kids don’t realise their true identity until they grow up and read about it on the internet. And why is that? Because nobody taught them to be free and be whoever they wish to be. No school provided them with all-inclusive sex education, and no parent asked them what pronouns they prefer.
“I think we need to aware poeple about homosexuality.”
There are so many people around us, who are unable to realise how and why they are different. They live in constant confusion and fear. And although, this powerful user took it in a very positive way, not all of us might-
“Came out when I was 24. I know it’s too late… But before that I used to think that the whole world feels the same like me. So never had a thought that I’m different from the people around me. Though I was not aware about the word GAY but the whole world was gay for me.😁”
“Think a part of me knew for a long time I just never accepted it because of well, internalised homophobia, and then I met a girl who helped me accept and love myself (though I’m still working on that lol)”
Growing up in a toxic environment that teaches kids being gay is “unatural” and “against our values”, children unconsciously develop an inherent fera of the LGBTQIA+ Community or alternate sexual choices. This in turn, may blind them towards their own indentity. And once homophobia has taken a place in someone’s heart, it is very difficult to let go of it and accept yourself. Not all of us may be able to rise above it start living freely.
“Came out when I was 18 years old. Merely it took so many years cause of internalized homophobia I had within me, which in turn failed to accept myself. But here I’m happily existing ❤️”
“It was pressure of marriage that I came out to my family. Marriage was never on the cards. Period.”
One of the worst things a parent can to to their kid is to force them into something they don’t want. The pressure of marriage, settling down and having kids can put people in utter distress. No one should come out to their family just because of being threatened into something against their will. One should only come out to family and friends on their own terms, whenever they feel like; not to run away and regret later.
“Had been confused for a long time and realized it after marriage.”
Lack Of Parents’ Support
“Came out as bi to my sister and asked her to tell my mom. Mom laughed and said I was too young to decide. Then came out to my dad. He literally said he didn’t understand and that it was a phase, because I could either be homo or hetero. He literally could’nt understand being bi. Now I’m out on my social media, but relatives don’t know though. IDGAF, I’m happy and that’s what matters.”
Coming out of the closet and accepting yourself takes a great deal of courage. And a simple sign of support from the parents can fill the child with confidence and optimism. Lack of support from the parents can totally shatter a child and drive him to live a lie. Parents refusing to understand or accept thier child’s true identity can plant the seeds of self doubt in the kids’ minds.
“First came out to my best friend in school then I wrote a proper note for my parents. They brought me to a hospital. I think that was not the perfect time to come out to my parents.”
So What To Do Next?
Even though, today, many of these sories were backed with a few laughs and giggles, these issues cannot be taken lightly. Sexuality is a spectrum and all people have the right to identify, and be true to, themselves. Majority of the people from the LGBTQIA+ Community have faced one or more of such hurdles while coming out. And though we also recieved responses that restored our faith in people,
“My dad’s instant reaction when I came out- we already knew, we’ll adopt a dozen kids, we are in full support!”
These were just a few positives, in an ocean full of negativity.
“I was smoking a joint with my mom, and decided to tell her. She was happy that I was happy.”
Any individual living in an evironment where they cannot accept themselves or be true to thier own identity, is invariably under a lot of stress. Such kind of an atmosphere can be extremely harmful and have tons of negative affects on the mental as well as physical health of people.
It’s time to change this condition; and change comes from within. We need to strive hard to make this planet a better home for the future generations. We need to promise that we will not associate blue with boys and pink with girls. And we need to make sure that we let people wear what they want and love who they want!