Gay After 3? Here’s A Story That Will Make You Rethink It

Gay After 3? Here’s A Story That Will Make You Rethink It

Do you know what Gay after 3 means? The 3 refers to 3 drinks. There have been many cases where people seem to turn gay after they are down a few drinks. Those who are obviously straight when sober and identify themselves as such. And yet there’s something that alcohol does to their system.

Queerty shared his story with the world.


Meet Straight, Married, and Father Of Six

Yeah. The man is in his early 30s and says that he is 1,000,000% sure that he is straight. Well, unless he drinks that is. He turns not-so-straight as soon as some amount of alcohol gets into his system. And he doesn’t really understand why it happens. So if you know anyone else who turns gay after 3 or 2 or just 1, you will now learn why. But let’s focus on the story.

The 30-year-old writes to sex expert Yana Tallon-Hicks searching for some answers. And she kindly reverts.

He writes, “My wife and I only drink when my mother-in-law is watching the kids for the night,”. “However there’s something we noticed when we’re drunk.” Picks/Gay After 3? Here's A Story That Will Make You Rethink It
Image Courtesy: Whisper

He then goes on to state that he absolutely loves sex and everything that comes with it. If you don’t believe him, his six kids can serve as proof. He also says that as long as he is sober he is only attracted to women. And he is a 1,000,000 sure that he is ‘only’ attracted to them.

He also says that he is definitely not into men.

“I’m not attracted at all to men. I don’t like the way we smell, look, talk, our masculinity, facial hair, nothing.”

And shot, shot, shot, we have reached sex-city. Where he cannot say “only” anymore.

“When I’m drunk I’m down for anything!”

“Once I’m at that level I literally want vagina, penis, and [all other variations of sexual anatomy.] All of it turns me on super bad and my wife knows this and she thinks it’s sexy.”


Okay, this is not simply a sticky situation, this is so much more. Thank god his wife knows and thinks it is actually sexy. But, how do you supervise and tell your drunk self that you are straight? Especially when you have such heightened urges and intense feelings about sex.

He now has a genuine doubt about his own self. “Am I bisexual? I truly only think those things are sexy when I’m drunk and when I’m sober, it all actually turns me off.”

Don’t Overthink It

The sex expert, Tallon-Hicks responds with caution. She tells him not to overthink it. She elaborates,

“Gender and sexuality and even sexual anatomy all exist on a spectrum,”

“Meaning, the worries created when we’re taught to think in binary terms like male or female, vagina or penis, gay or straight, are often mitigated by the freedom that can be felt when we just give ourselves permission to be who we are, how we are.”

She ponders upon the alcohol situation.

“I wonder if part of the reason your sexual desires shift when you’ve been drinking is because alcohol might be granting your brain the permission to venture outside of that worrisome, binary box,”.

As we grew up, many of our cultural, religious and societal prescribed us to think and act in certain ways about our behaviour. And when we are drunk, most of these beliefs go out the window. We cannot contain and logically come to conclusions and emotions take over.

And then there is the Beer Goggles phenomenon. Vice explains it.

When we drink lots of booze, we have a tendency to find other people more attractive than we otherwise would if we were sober. You probably knew that. Here’s what you probably didn’t know: This phenomenon—known as “beer goggles”—has been scientifically documented. Picks/Gay After 3? Here's A Story That Will Make You Rethink It
Image Courtesy: Whisper

Vice also borrows from a study that was conducted on men and women and their attraction levels as they get drunk. Tell us what you think of this.

“The more that guys drank, the more interested they became in the male target. While guys who had nothing to drink reported next to no interest in getting it on with a dude, guys who said they’d had more than ten drinks expressed almost as much interest in the man as they did the woman.”


Well coming back to Mr. Bi On The Rocks, Tallon-Hicks responded “I invite you to experiment with giving yourself permission without the drinking to let your desires exist as they are and/or resist the urge to slap a label on yourself if you’re just not sure it fits yet. You’re open with your wife about these desires, she’s into it, you’re not hurting anyone — if it’s not broken, do you have to fix it?”

Questioning one’s own identity, sexual or otherwise is a common behaviour. And when you have grown up knowing that you are straight, your drunk behaviour may raise some confusing questions. That is why labels are such a problem. Ask the individuals who are gender-fluid, they will tell you all about it.

But here is the gist of Tallon-Hicks’ response.

“You get to name your identity however you’d like to.”

This should be put up on big huge hoardings everywhere.

“You can still identify as straight and have or even act on these desires. You can identify as bisexual if you’d like to — I don’t get to decide that for you. Know that if/when you do decide to re-label your sexuality, a community exists to welcome you whether that’s online or IRL.”



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