An intersex person is born with sex characteristics; that fit outside of the constructed binary norms for female or males bodies. The different characteristics include gondal, genital and chromosomal. Intersex is an umbrella word which is used to define a range of body variations; that occur naturally. Furthermore it is highly required to keep yourself educated when it comes to dating an individual who is intersex.
Partners are more prone to misunderstand one’s body, if you’re an intersex person who’s in a relationship. However, here are some steps to keep in mind, for making your intersex partner feel comfortable. And smoothen your relationship with them.
“I think it’s important for intersex people to know that you can be loved,” said Hanne Gaby Odiele to Teen Vogue. “And you can give love and you can be in a wonderful relationship. You can adopt wonderful children one day if you can’t have kids.”
1) Always Be Open Minded:
Beginning of a new relationship is specifically awkward for some couples. Things can get even more complicated and twisted in case you’re seeing an intersex person. Of course, this might be something you’ve never done before – a new experience. However, if you place yourself in the right headspace, you will definitely find yourself fully involved in this brand new relationship. Always have an open mind. And never mistake stereotypes as facts. Also be ready to learn new facts or information. It’s totally okay if you do not have any experience with intersex individuals. But you need to be forever ready to learn new things about them.
Do not hesitate to ask questions. If you fail to understand something, just simply ask.
2) Research Is Essential:
Keeping your knowledge base updated with new facts and information about intersex people, can help you understand your partner better. The more is your knowledge, the better you will relate with them. When you initially begin seeing each other, take some time to gain more information and understand what it truly means to be them.
Use the Google. There are various websites on the internet, such as InterACT and OII. These sites will provides you tons of useful and important information. Remember to look out for pages that propagate false information. Find websites that back their information with hard facts.
Furthermore just start reading up on intersex people. Dive into different topics to learn a wide range of information.
3) Using The Right Terms:
It is highly essential to use the correct words. In the past, intersex people commonly would be called as “hermaphrodites”. However this is very inaccurate and very offensive. Sadly there are people who still use this term to refer to intersex individuals.
Known that language differs with society. Intersex is the right term, so ensure that you never use outdated words which could offend your partner or anyone else for that matter.
Also, intersex people do not always identify with all the issues and challenges faced by the LGBT populace. So, learn and use the right words for all people. Incase you need some help, then do not hesitate just ask what they prefer.
4) Intimate Times:
Mostly, intersex people will find it hard to be intimate with someone. For some of them it is honestly down right painful. This might be because of the surgeries they underwent in their childhood; illogical attempts to “fix” them.
Intersex people may also be dealing with genital shame and insecurities that follow it. Obviously, this will make it hard for them to get intimate with you.
However it is a known fact that intimacy is important in any relationship. Take care and put in the required but right efforts into this part of your relationship. Do not force them, instead give them time to get comfortable with you as a person.
You absolutely don’t need to right away figure out the ways for an intercourse with your partner; in the beginning of your relationship. You can however, try many different ways of intimacy. For instance, you could intimate massages or sensual touching. You could also get tons of enjoyment from cuddling, hand holding and also indulge in kissing.
5) Cultivate Patience:
Intersex individuals commonly need to deal with unique and special challenges. They face discrimination from family members, friends and sometimes even their doctors. It is hence really, really important to practice patience while dating an intersex person.
6) Relax Yo:
Dating is definitely not easy. Getting to know a person is a tough job. It could be specifically complicated, in case it’s the first time you are seeing an intersex person. Just take a chill pill yo. Don’t let the pressure of unintentionally hurting them get to you, and eventually ruin your relationship.