September 16, 2020
There’s been immense growth in rights toward the LGBT community across the world in the last couple of years. This has, of course, led to a significant increase in people coming out and accepting who they are. Often receiving love and support from their peers as they do so.
That, however, doesn’t make things so smooth sailing. Now, the community can express their love as any other heterosexual couple would. Thereby, creating problems between the how to’s and things to avoid.
This would be a great point to intervene and let you know that absolutely NO mistake is irreparable.
That being said, here are a few things to keep in mind when you finally make it official!
1. Open Relationships.
Define the term ‘open’ together. How you and your s.o define having an “open relationship,” determines whether you screw it up royally or make things work exceptionally well.
It’s all about boundaries and agreements, both of which need to be checked and discussed every 3-6 months. Make sure that they respect your opinions as should you respect theirs.
2. To cling or not to cling.
Nothing is more embarrassing to be to cling to your s.o. I know that it can be difficult finding someone like you, with the same vibe and wavelength for you to date. Over that, it is comparatively more difficult to have a lasting relationship. That being said, don’t be too clingy. Everyone needs their space to work and function while still being in love with you. Don’t text them 230489 messages an hour and freak out when they miss a single call.
Keep some distance but not too much. Make sure that you check up on them and keep them in the loop of your life. Not finding a good and acceptable balance between ‘to cling or not to cling’
3. Saying something, meaning nothing.
If you’re confused by this concept, then you’re a victim of this syndrome. Your relationship is probably on thin ice if you’re communicating by assuming you said something clearly and later finding out that what you said meant nothing!
Always make sure to speak to communicate, listen to learn, and validate what you think you heard. Assuming what you said is what your guy heard. And no, earwax removal isn’t going to help the matter.
4. Staying in a relationship because it’s comfortable.
No matter how much money they have or to die for sex or the size of their loft apartment. If the relationship sucks, it sucks. It’s a false sense of comfort to believe “If I leave, I’ll be single and that’s bad.” Yes, you’ll end up single and without his money, or the party favors, or the great sex. But you might be happier, and isn’t that what you’re after? Self-love should always come first.
Read: Sexual Abuse In Same-Sex Partners; A Growing Concern
5. Avoiding money talks.
Just because we’re gay, it doesn’t mean we’re immune from having “money talks”.
If you can’t talk about the big stuff, then the rest of the talks are just kinda fluff. Not that money is everything, but when you start analyzing the water bill based on who was home more on which days of the month, it might be time to have a real conversation.
6. Zipping it about sex!
Let’s face it, sex is as important as any other point to being in an extremely healthy relationship. Not talking about sex will only cause an unsatisfied relationship. Always be open about your likes, kinks, and everything in-between. When it’s out in the open, it is usually fulfilled. Plus, it makes sex so much more fun.
While you’re here read A Safe Sex Guide For The LGBT Community