rhWe all love a good love story where the protagonists can’t wait to get away from each other and finally can’t wait to be with each other. Amir & Aamir share a similar story.
Aamir, working in education and Amir working in healthcare, together explore life through the lens of a gay South Asian married couple. Through their own podcast available worldwide, ‘You Don’t Love Me’ they discuss everything from gender and religion all the way to music and current affairs.
Let’s see how this amazing couple got together and gave the world a beautiful love story!
Queer In Every Way:
Both of us are proud South Asian Queer men and embrace everything that is beautiful about that. The two of us are fun, flamboyant and confident; we own all of what and who we are. We both realized we were attracted to men at a very young age but it took us into our adulthood to really embrace this, due to religion and culture.
The “Don’t look gay” reaction:
My response to this is ‘Let me go and look MORE GAY!’ I like to wind people up and push the table out. You have to love who you are!
The First Date:
We initially met each other through a mutual friend and went on a night out. We didn’t like each other at first as we were extremely opposite to one another and we didn’t want to meet again. The universe is a crazy thing and we went out again with a group of friends and hit it off! From there we started to meet up more and more! We stayed up late into the night talking and getting to know one another. Amir took myself (Aamir) on a surprise date to one of my favorite restaurants and it naturally progressed from there.
“He is The One” moment:
About 6 weeks into the relationship I knew Amir was the one. He told me he was in love with me and we had already started to discuss future plans. Over a drink at one of my favorite bars I remember having this feeling in my stomach of knowing that he was the one for me.
Hiding Behind The “Friendship” Veil:
When we lived in our home town at the start of the relationship we were extremely careful due to the danger it could have caused if the community found out. However, we are now living in a city and living our full truth!
Amir proposed to me! He took me to one of my favorite places that we loved to walk and got down and one knee. He then made me an incredible 3 course meal with some amazing champagne and roses too! It was so wonderful and such a surprise! It was all extremely surreal.
Letting Our Parents Know:
It was difficult at first because my mum was just getting used to the relationship but it was received well in the end. I don’t have contact with other family members and Amir doesn’t have any contact with his parents due to his sexuality.
The Wedding Day:
We had a small ‘Secret Shaadi’ (as we like to call it), only us and 10 guests knew about it. We did not want extended family or the community to find out as it would pose danger to both of us. To start off, we had a Mehndi at our home which was followed the next day by breakfast, a registry wedding and a lovely meal and drinks with our closest friends. Keeping the wedding a secret was the best decision we made and now we continue to live openly and freely as a representation that love wins; and for all the battles we lost, we won the war! We may not have had the love and support of everyone, but we had each other, still do and to us, our love is enough!
The Relationship Ups & Downs:
We deal with our issues, just like any other married couple – through the confidence in knowledge that our true intention is to love and support one another. We grow stronger together.
‘You Don’t Love Me’ Podcast:
We initially started the podcast because we love to talk! It then quickly grew into something magical for the LGBTQ+ community. We have managed to connect with the Queer South Asian community and beyond across the whole world. Overall, we tackle topics from race and religion all the way to pop culture, Bollywood and our relationship. We want to show that you can’t put us into a box and we have so many incredible things about us.
This podcast has given us the opportunity to work within the LGBTQ+ community in many different ways which has been extremely exciting and rewarding!
Advice On Finding Love:
Don’t go out looking for it. Live your life and be the best version of yourself. Love will find you.
For The Ones Struggling To Come Out Of The Closet:
Do not feel as though you have to come out right away. Ensure you are in a safe space and aim to move yourself into a community that celebrates how amazing you are. We love you. We are here for you! Reach out online to people like you, there are so many of us.
I think that’s why it is incredible to have platforms like Fifty Shades of Gay to empower and lift our community; help those that are struggling. It is great to spread love and positivity!