Out of the many, many questions regarding sexting and the right way to do it: Are everyone else sexting people from work? Is there any horny-emoji-face for sexting? And most importantly, is it fun at all?!
“Sexting is the perfect foreplay,” said Kait Scalisi, MPH to The Cut. Scalisi the founder of award-winning sex-ed platform Passion by Kait and also a sex educator. “It’s a fun, flirty way to stay connected with your partner. It keeps sex on your brain all day and adds a little adventure; which re-creates that loving feeling from early in your relationship.”
Are you a beginner? Or just someone looking for more pointers? Scalisi along with two other sex experts share some of the best tips on how to sext. They are sexologist Emily Morse, Sex With Emily podcast host and Tyomi Morgan the pleasure coach.
1) Timing Makes All The Difference:
“It’s best to be aware of what your partner’s doing when you want to initiate,” explained Morse. “If they’re out to lunch with the family, or having their weekly meeting with the boss; definitely not the best time to roll out a steamy sext.”
In case you aren’t sure what your partner is doing at the moment, then Morse suggests a simple text communication, “Hey, you busy?” to find out if it’s a good time.
2)Build It Up Slowly:
“Sexting is all about the build up,” Morgan said. “Begin the conversation with an opening that indicates you’re ready to play without revealing too much. Sending a selfie of your cleavage, for example, with a simple message of ‘Hey you’ can grab their attention while making your intentions clear of what this thread can become if the person is willing to answer back.”
Morse agreed: “I’m always telling people when it comes to sex, to go five times slower than you think — the same goes for sexting. You don’t want to jump straight into sex without a warm-up, so treat your sexts the same way.” She also suggests to ease into the dialogue of sexting with a simple “I keep thinking about how hot the other night was” text. Slowly build it up from there.
3) Don’t Forget You Took Up A Role And Are Playing It:
“When initiating sexting you must remember that you are in control and you are playing a role,” said Morgan. “Your role is that of a playful partner who is horny and ready to get into something freaky. Your words, photos, and voice messages can all be used to paint a fantasy for your partner; and arouse them to the point of satisfaction.”
4) No Need To Get Too Far Away From Your Comfort Zone:
“Only do what you’re comfortable with,” Scalisi said. “Sexting can be as innocent as a ‘Can’t wait to love on you tonight’ or as risqué as a nude selfie. Start with something that makes you just a little uncomfortable — but doesn’t make you want to run and hide.”
5) Always Take & Give Consent Before Sending Your Nudes:
“When sexting a photo, start with NSFW (not safe for work), then hit return a few times, and then input the photo,” advised Scalisi. “This ensures the photo doesn’t pop on your beau’s lock screen, and lets them look at it when they aren’t in a potentially embarrassing or professional moment.”
6)Throw In Some Creativity Into Visuals:
“Angles are key when taking photos and recording video during sexting,” Morgan said. “The visuals are the bread and butter of sexy texting and can make or break the experience. Take photos from angles that only reveal the erogenous zones of the body (mouth, neck, bust, thighs, abdomen, booty, feet, pelvic area).”
“Just how provocative you get with the photos is up to you,” she continued. “Taking photos where the camera is angled from above and looking down onto your bust is a good example. Take photos of your booty from the bottom up to make it appear as if it’s in their face.”
7) Load Your Library With Ready-To-Use Sexy Pics:
“Keep a set of stock selfies so you don’t have to deliberate in delivering an image,” suggested Morgan. “You want responses to be quick and lively.” Do NOT forget to lock up your sexy pics safely – preferably locked behind a pin code.
8) Be Familiar With The “Emoji Sex” Game:
“Using emojis that are known to serve as sexual innuendos can help set intentions without saying a word,” advised Morgan. “The eggplant and banana are often used to represent the penis. A peach represents the booty. A pussy cat references to vagina. The emoji with the tongue sticking out indicates desire, and the raindrops indicate wetness or ejaculate. Also, knowing emoji sex code can help maintain a code of conduct if you’re sexting in public.”
9) Go Crazy With The Dirty Talk:
“Talking dirty is the guiding light of sexting,” said Morgan. “The words you use in your messages paint a visual of the fantasy that’s unfolding. You can describe what you’re wearing. Ask them for naughty photos to make comments about their body and the freaky things you’ll do to them. You can describe how your body is reacting to what they are sexting you.
Your words can also give instruction on what you want your partner to do to themselves while they fantasize about you. A+lso you’re leading the way toward their orgasm. Hence, make it count.”
10) Nothing Wrong In Revealing Your Fantasies:
“It’s not always easy to talk to your partner about the things you want to try in bed when they’re right in front of you,” said Morse. “Sexting is the perfect opportunity to put your fantasies out there because there’s less pressure when no one’s staring back at you.”
11) The Trick Is In The Details:
“The more specific you are in your sexy details, the better you and your partner will be able to visualize what you’re fantasizing about, and the easier it will be to keep the conversation going,” explained Morse.
12) Always Ask:
“Don’t be afraid to ask your partner questions during sexting,” said Morgan. “This is a sexual conversation, after all. Asking sexy questions can be an easy way for you to know what your partner is thinking. The questions can also assist you in painting a vivid image of their fantasies within their imagination.”