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Here’s How You Watch Porn Together With Your Partner!

Here’s How You Watch Porn Together With Your Partner!

We all watch porn and enjoy it on our own, in our own time. So won’t it be even more fun to watch it with your partner? Almost 50% people watch porn together with their partners, said a recent study. The idea has always existed. Still, for the ones who are yet to try this out as a couple, it’s a very scary proposition.

In case you are nervous about comparison or judgement, think of this as a new hot way of understanding each other better.

You have already learnt your partner’s sexual preferences, likes and dislikes a lot better; if you are under the same roof as your partner or having safe casual hookups with the same person over the past couple months or years. Of course there is nothing wrong with sticking to the stuff you already know about your partner. However, as time goes, even toe-curling amazing sex can feel routine and boring.

If you wish to find out about the deep, dark desires of your partner – then watching porn together will help you open a fresh and new dialogue about sex.

Here are some tips to keep in mind:

1) Talk About It First:

If you belong with the sexually-open-couple category who are down to experiment and surprise each other in the bedroom, then great. But in case you don’t, then please give a heads up to your partner; instead of randomly streaming porn videos when together in bed.

Talking about it in a way that puts very little pressure on your partner is the best way to do this. Dr. Megan Stubbs suggested that any conversation about sex should take place outside of the bedroom. Stubbs is a relationship expert and sexologist.

“That way, there is no pressure to say ‘the right thing’ that may not be the honest thing,” she explained to Astroglide. “Bring this up when you are in a neutral location and ask something along the lines of ‘how would you feel if we watched porn together?’ Hopefully, since you’ve approached the topic in a neutral, non-demanding way, your partner will be more likely to give you an honest answer.”

Ensure that you are in a position to accept their genuinely honest reply, irrespective of what you were hoping for.

2) Choose something that is enjoyable by both of you:

Everyone has their own favorite genre when it comes to porn. Your partner might say hell no to your favorites. But, you could be interested in the ones they are into. So, it’s better for you both to decide what genre you’d like to dip your toe into – together. Staying on the same page is always a good idea while choosing the kind of porn that is fun for you both. There is a vast collection of porn on the internet. A little bit of searching and you both will come across the perfect fit.

“Take a pulse on what they’re open to viewing and how receptive they would be to what you’re interested in watching together,” she said Dr. Jane Greer. Greer is a relationship expert, author and therapist.

watch porn together/watch porn together/Here's How You Watch Porn Together With Your Partner!
Image Courtesy: The Independent

“For example, maybe they’re opposed to watching threesomes, or perhaps they only want to watch porn with an element of romance.”

Having an idea of what your partner likes or dislikes will help you in finding the best material to indulge.

Remember, you should always consider your tone while discussing about which type of porn. Dr. Kat Smith, author and intimacy expert, recommends to use a sensitive tone with your partner while selecting the type of porn you see together. Another point to remember is that a few images and certain acts might be a trigger point for your partner and make them feel discomfort, and not enjoyment. “For example, porn often depicts women in unfavorable ways or shows scenes that are verbally or physically abusive,” Dr. Kat said. “Unless you both decide to role-play a bit, I suggest choosing a scene that is less aggressive.”

3) Connect As You Watch:

The key to connect with your partner while watching porn is to focus on the romance and intimacy element of it.

“To make it sexy rather than awkward, play with each other’s hair and make out along the way,” recommended Dr. Greer.

Speak to each other about what’s revving your engines while watching porn together. This will also act as a connecting bridge for the both of you. Dr. Greer suggested saying stuff like, “That looks like fun,” “I’m getting so hot watching this with you,” or “We should try that together!”

For a real connection to form, communication must happen from both the sides. Apart from deepening your intimacy, this will also help in taking your sexual connection to the next level.

4) A Few Boundaries Will Be Good:

Setting up a few boundaries will ensure that your decision to watch porn together won’t end your relationship.

Do not turn to porn every time you want to have sex. “It could become your go-to activity when you’re tired and want to hurry the process,” explained Dr. Eve who is a sex therapist. This lack of emphasis on your connection could end up in resentment and lead to a huge dent in your relationship.

watch porn together/watch porn together/Here's How You Watch Porn Together With Your Partner!
Image Courtesy: Healthline

Watch porn only when your relationship is not in a bad place. Dr. Eve recommended, “If you have a quarrel, and want to make up by getting yourself or your partner in the mood for sexual play, do not use porn.”

Because, the insecurities that naturally arise while you watch porn together will get clubbed with the insecurities that come up when you both fight. This could lead to hurting yours or your partner’s feelings.

5) Never Use Porn As A Way To “Mend” Your Relationship:

Definitely, having a ‘porn’ night is always an amazing way to add more spice to your sex life. However, it is equally important to note that seeing porn is just an added fun layer; and not a way to fix your relationship issues. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, clinical psychologist and professor of psychology, explained, “Don’t bring up watching porn together as a ‘fix.’ Spicing up sexuality is not going to fix inherent problems in the relationship.”

“Don’t bring up watching porn together during an argument when the subject can feel like a weapon or an indictment of your partner. It’s better to do it when you are being intimate and working on exploring each other sexually, as it becomes a natural jumping-off point.”

Next Read: Sexting And How To Do It: The Ultimate Guide

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